Time to Put on My Big Girl Panties.

As I sit on the rooftop terrace of my apartment, with a breath taking view of the DC skyline, I'm overwhelmed by a whirlwind of emotions. Tears begin to roll down my cheeks as I realize that reality has set in. Even though it's only until the end of July, packing up and moving to a place that's 5 hours away from home is a HUGE step for me. 

I grew up with half of my entire family living within a mile from me, and even after leaving for college, I was still able to make the 1.5 hour drive home from Charlotte to see my family whenever I pleased. Washington DC isn't just a short drive down the road though, so I cant just pick up and head home for a day or two when I begin to feel lonely or when I'm missing my friends and family (especially since I don't have a car with me this summer). 

My first day as a Public Policy Intern begins tomorrow at 9am and I’m terrified that I may not be adequate…even worse than that, what if I just flat out suck at it? And on top of that, my paranoia about all the bad things that can happen in the big city is beginning to kick in. As I sit here crying, the only thing I can think about is the 7 years that my MawMaw battled Alzheimers disease; and how it challenged our family and pushed us to our limits…changing our lives forever. I remember how much I resented God for putting us in that situation and making us watch as that dreadful disease robbed MawMaw of her mind as her life slowly withered away; just as earlier this evening when I began to resent the fact that God placed this opportunity in DC in my lap, knowing that it is going to push me to my limits and challenge me in many ways. Pondering over the two situations, I came to the realization that I finally have reached the true understanding of the quote "Everything happens for a reason,” and that this opportunity was obviously given to me for a reason. Yes, it is going to challenge me and push me, but it is also going to change my life & help me to grow in so many ways, just as MawMaw’s battle with Alzheimer’s disease did for me. In my heart, I feel that God gave my MawMaw the role of helping me to discover more about Alzheimer’s disease and to mold me into the young advocate for Alzheimer’s that I have become today. God presented me with a challenge, and gave me the tools to turn it into an opportunity, just as he has with this summer internship with the Alzheimer's Association.

Come 8:30am tomorrow morning, when I leave my apartment to head out for my very first day as an intern in DC, I will remind myself that "Today is the beginning of the rest of my life. And I can choose to be terrified of what may happen and resent the challenge placed in front of me, or I can put on my big girl panties, take the bull by the horns, and get out there & Change the world!" <3